Actress Joanna Lumley leads park visitors up the garden path with her audio guide

Visitors to Mile End Park in Tower Hamlets will now be able to stroll the grounds accompanied by actress and Ghurkhas campaigner Joanna Lumley.

As patron of the award-winning open space, Lumley, who is best known for her role as Patsy in the television series Absolutely Fabulous, has recorded an audio tour of the park.

The recording that covers a 1.5 mile route from the north end of the park to the south can be downloaded as a podcast for MP3 players and mobile phones. It could potentially help partially sighted visitors explore the area, as well as disabled, the infirm or those with prams.

Michael Rowan, the Director of Mile End Park, said he was delighted that Lumley had become involved: “It’s fantastic, she’s always been a good supporter of the park and we’re lucky to have her on board.” Rowan explained how the audio tour is broken down into sections, so visitors don’t have to walk the whole route at once.

Members of the public said how much they enjoyed the audio tour. Christine Reece, 23, of Lewisham, is a huge fan of Joanna Lumley: “I loved her in Absolutely Fabulous, I’d definitely recommend it [the guided tour] to my friends as a way of getting fit as well as learning more about the park.”

Similarly Alex Keithly, 38, of Tower Hamlets, was pleasantly surprised: “It was pretty good. My wife told me about it but I was a bit reluctant to go with her. It was interesting to listen to, it’d be good if they did it with more parks around London.”

Mile End Park was created in the 1940s, as part of a plan to offer city dwellers access to green spaces. Formerly home to industrial buildings and residential areas; sections of the park are separated by roads, waterways and rail links.

Situated in the heart of East London, Mile End tube station is the closest tube link. Buses 25, 277, D6, D7 and N25 pass close by and there is a dedicated cycle track through the park.

A Team Arts gets going Photo: A Team Arts

Teenagers in Tower Hamlets will today embark on a non-profit project that will help them gain experience of the performing arts.

The organiser, ‘A’ Team Arts turned 30 in 2009, and this summer will see a special performance to celebrate their jubilee. It will be stylized to fit the trends of the 80′s, 90’s and 00’s – the three decades during which the organisation helped youths.

The House of Talent project gives a rare chance for young people from the largely disadvantaged area of London to improve their skills, and make a step on the career ladder.

“Apart from learning skills associated with those different skills they can also get a Bronze Art Award alongside the project,” Geraldine Bone, the Youth Team Manager told ELL.

This is a nationally recognised accreditation, and although Bone claims the organisation has not produced any stars yet, the programme has certainly helped young people get jobs.

Although ‘A’ Team Arts works mostly with regulars, it is now open to recruit new members.

The necessary criterion for young people is that they are aged between thirteen and nineteen and live or study in the borough of Tower Hamlets.

A series of workshops will commence today and run through to the end of March.

The final piece will be performed at the Paradise Gardens in Victoria Park this June.

Young people will have a chance to gain some knowledge in music, dance, drama, and fashion.

Bedroom and en-suite in The Clearview mini-mansion Photo: MIAIM

It is commonly said that we are living in a small world. Designer Elaine Shaw from Brockley, South East London has just created an even smaller one.

Reverting to the style of Victorian dolls house traditions, Elaine has created a miniature hi-tech property, with all the mod cons that are part of our lives in the twenty-first century.

She says: ‘We have celebrated the Victorian era for so long and I think it’s time we started celebrating modern design. We all have iPods, YouTube and digital TV in our homes and I want to be able to bring that into the doll’s house.’

Elaine has named the house Clearview, it is the first of a series of homes that she has designed for her company Miam.

Clearview stands at 79cm (31in) high and boasts six luxury rooms. Potential tiny residents would enjoy a bedroom with an en-suite, glass sliding doors leading onto a balcony and a fully equipped kitchen to prepare for guests, who would naturally enjoy eating at a chic dining table, laden with roses and miniature crockery.

If only The Borrowers were still around now; their dreams have finally been answered.

Dirk the Galapagus turtle. Photo: London Zoo

Workers at London Zoo will today begin the arduous task of counting all the animals it houses.

At the last count, the zoo was home to over 15,000 different animals, including 752 different species.

The zoo takes stock every year in order to comply with its license and some years are easier than others.

On the morning after the last count a meerkat  gave  birth to a litter and this year the zoo has seen several new arrivals including lion cubs, komodo dragons and… more meerkats.

The zookeepers hope the Galapagos turtles, which arrived in July 2009, will start to breed soon. According to a zoo spokeserson the male turtle, Dirk, is mating energetically with 16-year-old Dolly, despite being her senior by 54 years.

The other new arrivals this year incude a pair of lion cubs who were the first to be born at the zoo for ten years, and played in the snow for the first time this winter.

A zoo spokesperson said: “Counting animals is easy, but the bug house takes a week in itself. The ants aren’t counted individually, they are counted as a colony, but the moon jellyfish are counted one by one.”

The cracker battle can be won - if you know how to pull correctly

For all those who never seem to triumph in the cracker battle over the yuletide dinner table, there will be joy on earth, as experts have discovered a winning formula for pulling a Christmas cracker.

The equation, which mathematicians revealed as O = 11x C/L + 5xQ was found by analyzing the optimum downwards angle for pulling the cracker (O), circumference of the barrel (C), length of the barrel (L), and quality of the cracker (Q).

However, seasoned pullers must be aware that there are changeable factors for the experiment and should take into account the cracker’s geometry and its material. Pricier crackers are often made from stronger material, which experts say will increase the optimum angle of pull.

Mathematicians from Debenhams cracked the formula; “It’s human nature to want to win, and pulling a cracker is a competition like any other,” said Debenhams’ spokesperson Carie Barkhuizen. “Success is mainly down to the angle, grip, cracker size and ‘lines of failure’ or where the cracker is likely to tear.”

According to the  maths boffins, Q has a value of 1, 2 or 3 depending whether the cracker is cheap, standard or premium. The formula should produce a figure between 20 and 55 degrees, which is the optimum pulling angle.

Pullers are advised to start limbering up their pulling muscles to avoid common injuries such as pinkie cramp and paper (hat) cuts.

Carp frenzy. Photo: Rebecca James

Rivers in south east London have been ‘replaiced’ with new fish this week, in a move that could be described as cod’s gift to local anglers.

Tuesday saw 250 chub and dace released into the River Pool in Lewisham and the River Ravensbourne in Bromley.

On Wednesday, 500 tench and crucian carp were set free in Canada Water, with a view to improving angling in the local docks.

Locals have expressed concern about reeking haddock on local marine life.

The Environment Agency has stated that it hopes to boost local fish stocks sole-ly for the benefit of local anglers, though it intends to do so using low numbers. This should help reduce competition amongst marine life, thereby giving fish the o-perch-tuna-ty to thrive.

Local fishermen will be having a whale of a time.

Artist Tracey Emin. Photo: Piers Allardyce

She may be incapable of making her bed, but artist Tracey Emin made a tidy sum for Tower Hamlets Amnesty group this afternoon.

They sold a signed notebook donated by the artist herself on Ebay to help raise money for Amnesty International.

“I used to have such a good imagination” is scrawled along the front of the notebook, which sold for £31.

It features her handwriting throughout and is a limited edition – Tate modern sells the notebook without an autograph.

Ms Emin lives in the East End, near Spitalfields, and is a famous advocate for the area. She rocketed to fame in 1999 when her artwork, My Bed, was featured in the Turner Prize. The piece consisted of an unmade bed with various items strewn around, including vodka bottles, condoms and underwear.

Captain Kevin Standbury and TfL staff pose with unopened toys Photo: TfL

Santa came early to Deptford this year, with hundreds of families set to receive brand new toys for Christmas.

The Salvation Army, Deptford, run by captain Kevin Stanbury and his wife Wendy, is working with Transport for London this December to find a home for the 2,000 unopened toys that are left on London’s transport network every year.

The Christmas scheme, which started in 2008, gives support to disadvantaged families in south-east London during the festive period. The Salvation Army, which is also a registered charity, works closely with local children’s centres and the council to identify families that would benefit from additional help at Christmas and offers them the opportunity to choose from hundreds of unopened toys to give their children on Christmas day.

Some of these toys, which range from board games to teddy bears, have been waiting in TfL’s lost property office for over three months.

Julie Haley, TfL’s lost property office manager, said: “This is a wonderful opportunity for us to donate these lovely toys to The Salvation Army to give to children who are not expecting any presents this year. We understand that during this current economic down-turn things can be tough for some families and we hope these new toys will provide some Christmas cheer”.

The Salvation Army, which is a worldwide Christian church, works with the TfL lost property office on a monthly basis to collect and distribute the many items that are left on buses, trains, trams and taxis, to people in need. Captain Kevin of the Deptford branch, which is the only group involved in the Christmas scheme, said: “Christmas can be a stressful time for many families because of the financial burden. The donation of the toys from TfL brings joy not only to the many children who receive them but also to the parents who are able to give them. We cannot stress enough the difference this makes to so many people’s lives.”

Salvation Army centres in Hackney, Tower Hamlets and Croydon are also running a variety of Christmas events.

The Horniman Museum. Photo: Edmund Sumner

Hackney Empire, Horniman Museum, the Tower of London, and Croydon ClockTower; these are the famous landmarks that the communities of east London have deemed ‘great’ enough to be featured in badges as part of the London 2012 ‘Landmark London’ campaign.

Each of London’s 33 boroughs has chosen a landmark to be featured in the set of metal pins, which will go on sale next year as part of a range of merchandise designed to celebrate the city in the run up to the 2012 Olympic Games.

Residents were given one month to vote for their favourite buildings, in what the Chair of the London 2012 Organising Committee, Sebastian Coe, described as “just one way over seven thousand Londoners are already involved in the 2012 Games.”

“The landmarks chosen by the public for the pin set showcase what Londoners want the world to remember about their borough,” he added.

Meanwhile, employees of the lucky landmarks described themselves as ‘delighted’ to have been selected to represent their communities in the Landmark London series.

“It’s great to know that local residents have so much affection for the museum and we hope to see plenty of our visitors sporting Horniman pin badges,” said director Janet Vitmayer.

Lewisham’s beloved natural history museum, along with its fellow winners in Hackney, Croydon and Tower Hamlets, all have the advantage of lending themselves well to being recreated in a metal pin form alongside the London 2012 logo.

Pigeon settles down Photo: Dave B

A pigeon was found riding a train on the London Underground this week.

Without any particular destination in mind, the stout-bodied bird perched itself atop a tube seat while onlookers pointed and sniggered.

The smiles quickly fell from their faces however when the winged intruder decided to alight at High Street Kensington. For it was only then that passengers discovered the delightful secretion the wandering traveller had generously left behind.

TfL were unable to comment about this incident.